March 2012
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on the 29th day of the second month of the year that occurs every 4 years. how do i feel today? today i very much feel like i’m expanding outwards, so many years of introspection and hermit behaviour but it was for a reason
some people say everything happens for a reason, but i don’t really know about that
November 2011
1 post
life is life
October 2011
5 posts
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for the amount of times guys completely fucking walk all over me, abuse the fact that regardless of the bad things that have happened to me in the past, i still have the capacity to trust and give all of myself, i should be broken completely. and while i know i’m not perfect and have been trying to mask how i truly feel about everything. i feel betrayed, but not enough that i will never be...
September 2011
1 post
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since i’m beginning graduate school this week, i figured a change was in order. i don’t know if i’ll delete my old tumblr (honeyjinx) or keep it around for those occasions when i feel like going through all my old journals, both digital and paper. who knows, that tumblr was basically just reblog after reblog which isn’t interesting at all.
i don’t even have my...
August 2011
6 posts
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i want to live in logan square, or up north
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i would say 3/4ths to 5/6ths of a bottle of wine is enough to get me kind of drunk. like i am feeling right now. still trying to decide whether this is good or bad. maybe this will make lay off hard liquor for a while, i really like rum so i’m not promising shit. LOL.
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sometimes i let my mind wander, thinking about past events, past friends, past relationships. while all of these experiences were important (or whatever), at the end of the day, i really don’t give a fuck and wish i could suppress some of these thoughts from ever surfacing again.
this is my life and i guess i’m living it this is my life, i wish i was doing what i wanted but i’ll always have to be doing something. i keep evading the subject. my life is about to change. but i mostly wonder if i’ll have time to sleep, i know i’ll be cranky as hell if i don’t sleep enough, which means i can’t go out as much. i’m already 45 years old...
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This good I swear I’m staying lurking in your arms. So good in sin I’m staying with you and your bitter senses. Waking within the daze of… Tell me this is so easy inside your words and feelings. Promise me there’ll be no ending. Stay here with your brilliant kisses, please. Waking within the daze of passion. I cannot rouse myself from this slap of passion. I cannot pull...
July 2011
7 posts
1 tag
sit in the sun and contemplate life still don’t know what is going on indecisive
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Dirge Without Music
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground. So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind: Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned. Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you. Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust. A fragment of what you felt, of what you...
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physically, i can’t help but think about how beautiful you are to me. your eyelashes, your eyes, your face, your body. i know you’re no good, but i suppose i’m attracted to what i know i shouldn’t have. my problem is, i fantasize. i think about biting your neck, stroking your hair. i heard you have a small dick, but i still want to fuck you and see it for myself (why?)...
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“In my dreams the world would come alive, becoming so captivatingly majestic, free and ethereal, that afterwards it would be oppressive to breathe the dust of this painted life.”
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“Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”
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let it go – the smashed word broken open vow or the oath cracked length wise – let it go it was sworn to go
let them go – the truthful liars and the false fair friends and the boths and neithers – you must let them go they were born to go
let all go – the big small middling tall bigger really the biggest and all things – let all go dear
so comes love
— e.e. cummings
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snow and dirty rain
When we were little we made houses out of
cardboard boxes. We can do anything. It’s not because
our hearts are large, they’re not, it’s what we
struggle with. The attempt to say Come over. Bring
your friends. It’s a potluck, I’m making pork chops, I’m making those long noodles you love so much. My dragonfly, my black-eyed fire, the knives in the kitchen are singing
for blood, but we are the...